I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
