I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we're making bets on your personal life
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
