I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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