My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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