very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
