He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
