i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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