I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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