When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
