Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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