My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
