I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
