yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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