yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
