dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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