This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i think i just lost a toe
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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