Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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