eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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