Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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