Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
