my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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