Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
