so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
