Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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