yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
