wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize