I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
