I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
