i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
