o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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