The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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