Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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