he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
