We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
