Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
