He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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