I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
