so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
