According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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