can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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