youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
