Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
