He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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