I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
