is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
