Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
