It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
