this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
