and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
