6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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