New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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