My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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