WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
