**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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