Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
this is an emotional support booty call
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
