Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
