I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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