Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
