they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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