Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
