your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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