it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
