Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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