Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just had sex bonerless
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
